Star Crossed: Love in Medicine

One of the first doctors I shadowed as premed was a new attending at Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. He took a call halfway through his shift from his fiancé, telling me that this was the only time of day he could talk to her. I asked if she was out of town. He replied that she was training in Boston.

In March of 2022, my partner matched at a program 1,300 miles from our home. Two years my senior in medical training, we hugged and said, “we got this.” I later found a friend from my class who also had a partner that matched. “Illinois,” she said to me. “Kansas,” I replied, our eyes meeting in mutual understanding.

Long distance is an almost universal experience in our field, whether in undergrad, medical school, or residency. We all feel gratitude for being able to advance in our training. “I’ll go wherever a program takes me” is a phrase that has resonated with all of us at one time or another. Yet, little attention is paid to the sacrifices that are made along the way and the things we must leave behind, if only temporarily.

Aware of the interpersonal realities of matching, the NMRP introduced the couples match in 1984. Applicants from the same year can apply to the match as a couple and then rank programs in every possible combination to maximize their chances of staying together. In 2021, 1194 couples participated in the couples match; 87.6% of these couples matched successfully.  Despite these odds, there are significant challenges with the couples match. Couples must apply to significantly more programs because both people must match at a given location. Additionally, for a couple to match at a program, both applicants must match individually, meaning that any program that does not suit your partner also does not suit you.

The financial and emotional toll that couples matching takes was described by Dani Wenger, a 4th-year student applying with her partner: “Although I am so grateful that the couples matching process exists, it’s definitely not for the faint of heart. I think what’s most important for couples in the same medical school class is to consider what is most important to them and if they are willing to make big sacrifices for each other to be together and avoid long distance for potentially several years.” Even amidst the stress, hopeful optimism lights the way for these couples. As Dani puts it, “We are excited to see where the couples matching process ultimately takes the two of us!” Another 4th-year medical student, Isabel Strouse, echoes this statement as she prepares to apply family medicine/pediatrics with her partner: “It’s all admittedly a bit stressful, but I am grateful to be navigating such a big next step with an incredibly supportive partner and one of the most important people in my life.”

The class of 2024 was once described as the “Class of Love.” With a record number of 10 couples, over 20% of the class of 2024 will be entering the couples match. Buoyed by a passion for their future specialties and commitment to each other, we wish them all the best as they strive to achieve their professional and personal goals.

References

National Resident Matching Program. (2021). Results and Data: 2021 Main Residency Match. National Resident Matching Program.

Article image credit goes to https://www.flickr.com/photos/7122909@N05 [hojusaram]

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Hannah Tolson is a member of University of Arizona Class of 2024. She attended Gonzaga University where she majored in Mathematics. A Phoenix native, she is passionate about the outdoors and rural medicine. She plans to pursue a career in Dermatology.